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Friday June 24, 2016 CrossFit Stapleton- Denver, CO



Ode To Burgers-

If burgers grew on bushes I’d have a meatyard full.

I’d customize in delicious

And advertise that they’re nutritious, made from the finest bull.

If burgers grew on trees, I’d have a forest of…

Angus, Bison, 80/20, endless rows of meat love.

If burgers were planted in soil…I’d bbq mine in foil.

With bacon, and toppings and cheese galore

I love burgers now, and of course forever more.


So yes I’d had a brief hiatus last week. I missed YA’LL! The Sun and my fantastically temperamental immune system had a domestic dispute in my body and sidelined me for a while. Don’t worry the cops weren’t called and I incurred no bruises, but I did need reinforcement. My nemesis aka Prednisone for 7 days.  I call them “Miracle Fat Girl Pills” they swell me up, make me hungry (as if I need a pill for that), and make it very difficult to sleep but they cure EVERYTHING!  No worries I am on the up and up and back to my usual Shayla Shenanigans and what- not. This unfortunate debacle led me to what I did Friday to help reset my “healthy” button and get me back on track.

I’m kinda new agy but I love fried foods- but love is a battle field and I am playing to win Friends. Pray for me!

Friday I went to visit my friend Lucinda at Lavage Wellness in Lakewood 4.5 miles from Jerusalem. Well folks this is where it gets weird. Lavage means “washing out of a body cavity, such as the colon or stomach, with water or a medicated solution”.  GASP now…. OMG SHAYLA!!!!!

Haha yep I did Colon Hydrotherapy!  It was not bad, not bad at all. When you arrive Lucinda takes some time with you to go over process, procedure and what to expect. She answers all of your questions no matter how silly they sound in your head, the point is to make you comfortable with your decision and really to get you to look forward to the outcome.

The room you enter is very nice, clean, and serene. You smell essential oils, there is a humidifier and sink, commode and in the corner is the apparatus itself. It’s called the Angel of Water and rightfully so.

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This dear machine handles the whole process for you. Luckily you’re alone. You sit over the middle and there is a longish tube that you insert yourself. You have the ability to adjust your posture, and elevate your feet. Initially it is a bit strange given what it is and well where it is, however the best advice I can give is to completely RELAX. Not relaxing will make it difficult…ya dig

So once I was positioned comfortably and covered up, I push the on button and then the water starts to flow in. The water is also heated by the Angel of Water and that temperature is maintained throughout the duration of your therapy. 98.7 degrees. It’s warm and doesn’t cause alarm. (I know I rhymed). I have my ipod on so I can soothe myself with some music and inhaled the scent of lavender to relax.  The steady flow of water in does however create slight pressure which triggers the umm desire to push…ya dig?  Initially you’re a bit weirded out because it’s not a toilet, bush, outhouse etc. so you are psychologically trying to reconcile what is happening all the while unable to control what’s happening at the same time. It’s wild, weird, and wonderful at the same damn time!

Because Lucinda cares about YOU, she also has a wonderful Brookstone massager that you can maneuver around your tummy area to stimulate your intestinal situation and stuff. For this I put on Missy Elliot… it was definitely time to party! Don’t knock it til you try it- HOLLA! 

The additionally awesome thing about Le Angel de Agua is from your personal view is the water tank, and a mirror that reflects the “outgoing” tube that allows you to watch what’s happening -if that’s your sort of thing.

I have to admit, it’s TOTALLY MY THING!!!!  To the right of the tank is the water thermostat. Lucinda is a doll and will ask if you need more water or if you are ok with your elimination. I’m GANGSTA… a THUG LIFE AMBASSADOR so I went again. I’m true to my hood, I rep my set…. feel me?  In total I went 12 gallons. Whole process took about 1.5 hour from start to departure. Lucinda definitely checks on your periodically so you don’t feel abandoned.

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After the therapy session was completed. Lucinda brings you into her office to discuss any questions, advise on products or tips to help keep your tummy healthy. She’s a sweet lady, knowledgeable and an advocate of peaceful, healthy living.  Last time I saw her she got me on probiotics.  It is advised to take it easy, sip broths and juices and be nice to yourself for a day or so after your therapy session. But like I said I am a Gangsta, so I went and got Cuban food immediately after….one must “TREAT YOSELF” and may I tell you “MYSELF” was TREATED RIIGGHHHHTTTT!

The most beautiful thing about the room I was in was this little quote that hung above the sink. It made me smile, because I was thinking about food, but really all of the things that make me happy.  CFS what do you think about that makes you happy?

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Don’t hesitate to ask me anything candidly about this process-I’ll tell you anything!  My email is



A. Four rounds of:
Back Squat x 6 reps @ 3011
Rest 60 seconds
Weighted Box Step-Ups x 6 reps each leg @ 2111
Rest 60 seconds
Dumbbell Bench Press x 8 reps @ 2011
Rest 60 seconds

B. Complete as many rounds and reps as possible in 6 minutes of:
20 Alternating Reverse Lunges with Dumbbells
30 Hand Plank Shoulder Taps



A. Four rounds of:
Box Squat x 10 reps @ 3031 (:03 down/:03 on the box)
Rest 60 seconds
Box Step-Ups x 6 reps each leg @ 2111
Rest 60 seconds
Dumbbell Bench Press x 8 reps @ 2011
Rest 60 seconds

B. Complete as many rounds and reps as possible in 6 minutes of:
20 Alternating Reverse Lunges
30 Hand Plank Shoulder Taps



A. 10min AMRAP:

20 Wall-balls

100m Med-ball sprint

20 Med-ball sit-ups

– Rest 8 minutes

B. 10min AMRAP:

30 Hand Plank Shoulder Taps

15 Pull-ups

Small Loop Run


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